An enthusiastic effort that yielded minimal results.
Keenan’s latest attempt to defy genetics, heredity, and
history by weighing more than a wet Great Dane left this reviewer wondering the
delusion necessary to make this repetitive effort year after year expecting
different results. The workouts started
with a blind optimism only expressed by the most naive of hearts or by those
recovering poorly from sun stroke. The sentiment
imbuing the entire effort that “things will be different this time” left me
wondering if Keenan knew something he wasn’t sharing, or if perhaps that much
needed steroids were finally involved.
A few short months into the routine, it was clear that performance
enhancing drugs had not been utilized and that the aforementioned optimism was
already giving way to a more natural and reasonable acceptance of ultimate
failure. For every pound of muscle
gained, an inexplicable two pounds of some other bodily matter escaped his
frame, disproving the Law of Conservation of Matter as well as promises made on
the wrappers of protein power bars.
By Fall, with only a statistically insignificant amount of gains
made, it appeared Keenan could still achieve his goal by either wearing thicker
clothes or ingesting non-lethal heavy metals.
Unwilling to compromise his principles, Keenan continued on his path undeterred,
insistent that he fail on his own terms, in his own way, the way he always did
and always would.
Frustratingly relatable, unforgettably devastating, and
completely predictable, this effort by Keenan checked all the boxes you want
checked in a yearlong workout goal.
Coming within a pound of his objective with a week to go was a thrilling
end to the journey, but it was his unexpected throwing in of towel at the eleventh
hour that left this reviewer wondering, “Will he even bother to try this again?” Only if he learned nothing. And I think it’s clear he never does.
No comments:
Post a Comment